He took an ugly past and turned it into beauty

He took an ugly past and turned it into beauty

Formerly a college dropout and now a successful photographer

In the beginning

“The house that we grew up in was a 4 bedroom, two story home, with a two car garage.”  Tall dark and handsome, well dressed and confident man, Edward Renauld Hill born February 14, 1968 born to Marissa and Joe Hill. “The place we grew up was Lock Borne Ohio. My parents were typical lower middle class two parents household that was ordinarily fine on the surface. Even though my father was there he was not there.”

” Mom was a single mother and housewife and father worked for a beer company until he got his own after hours joint. On the surface the family home that Ren grew up in was a model family home however underneath the surface Rens father engaged in prostitution, pimping and drugs. Both parents later died, mom died of cancer of the brain and lungs most likely due to smoking and dad died of unknown causes.”

Ren does not know the years they died, But he does state, “My mother and I were not really on speaking terms until she was on her death bed. I was grown and living in North Carolina. We made amends and I learned to forgive her for some of our personal issues that were hurting.” He did not elaborate in depth on this issue; I felt he was still sensitive to this subject.

“My father did shield the life he led from us however we still heard about it anyway.” Ren, what he prefers to be called says “There were ten of us kids and I was the middle child. My childhood was “good”. “I was not a lonely child; I was very adventurous engaging in cub scouts, boy scouts and had a lot of friends.”

 “The best memory I had as a child was getting a new mo-ped which was a motorized miniature bike and going into high school. In high school I don’t think I missed over four days. I engaged in track and tennis, the majority was wrestlers; the wrestling team was always winning.” “We had plenty of fight in us”

Dreams

“When I was younger my dream was to be a Dentist. I was good with my hands; I took a course as a dental lab technician. Ohio state dental school wanted me to go through their program.” Rens, first job was at McDonalds. Later Ren decided to become a nail tech, he got his certification in a three month course at Cosmetology school. He was a nail tech for 21 years. “I enjoy creating things with my hands”. Ren had to close his shop unfortunately due to the loss of business to another competitor. “I do feel that I will go into another career path and I do believe it will be something that I will continue in the beauty industry.”

Juvenile

“I was being defiant and I don’t think being chastised was enough.” “One day my mom must have gotten fed up because she pulled out the gun and was about to kill me, but I don’t think she really was going to kill me. I did feel scared and puzzled at the same time.” “I felt puzzled because of the life I was leading, was it bad enough to warrant my own mother taking my life?” “I would steel, fight, gangbang; you name it I did it.” “Having a father who was into illegal elements and Ren as a delinquent one would assume the area that he grew up in would have been a dump.”

Ren says “The area that I grew up in was pretty nice. Because I was a delinquent, I can’t say that I blame my upbringing for any of that.” “I lived in a neighborhood where people were honest and worked for a living.” “I did not think that I would get caught and I was a loner that usually found trouble on my own.”

Photography

The turning point in Rens career and life came when he saw that it was an easy transition. He noticed a photographer by the name of Sylvio who Ren felt was doing business the wrong way. “I decided I wanted to do something that was non discriminating. This guy would only take pictures of people he thought was beautiful.” The photographer Sylvio saw beauty by discrimination. “Sylvio would take someone’s picture that was beautiful and leave others out if they weren’t up to his standards.” Sylvio’s passion was models-The worlds beautiful and elite.

“I saw there was more to taking pictures than just models so I went out and got my own camera and took the pictures I thought reflected beauty in everyone.” “The greatest accomplishment to photography will be getting published and getting paid. I have been doing this for eight or nine years. I have done photos of proms, graduations, family and anniversary etc.”

“Photography among other things is what I enjoy and want to ultimately be accomplished at, and I will continue to work hard at my goal until I can’t do it anymore.” “I will then go forward and do something else that will further peak my interest. The sky is the limit and I can do anything I put my mind and hands on.” “I do want to continue photography; I want to challenge myself to capture beauty in jobs like modeling.”  

Favorite places

Ren is spontaneous and loves to travel. Rens’ favorite place is the Dominican Republic. “The lifestyle is different they have a very simple life and compared to the United States, over there I was considered rich because of the gold chains that I wore and an abundance of clothes. The people in the Dominican Republic were very friendly and I enjoyed the chance that I had been given. The opportunity came when I started a nail solon over in the Dominican Republic.”

“I have met great people such as Geechie; this is a lesbian biker in a social club who took me in when I had no place to stay.” Geechie had no idea who he was and looked at his demeanor that suggested he was a cool guy. This was an anniversary dinner under a mutual party. The social club is an event where everyone believes they are family if you are accepted by one, you are accepted by all.

Lifelong lessons

“Lifelong lessons would be to be responsible and self sufficient. Going to college was a positive experience however I partied my way out of college. I did not graduate and that was a lesson that if I had to do it over again I would finish.” I asked Ren if he would have graduated where he would be today. “I do not like to look back in the past because of regrets.” I did notice that Ren had a look of disappointment on his face. I believe he felt he made a big mistake by dropping out of college.

Ren focused on dropping out of college all throughout the interview. Rens repetitive focus of college gave me the inclination that if he could, he would love to go back in time and change and change those party sessions to more study sessions. Ren entered Alabama A&M with the hopes of achieving a Bachelors degree and ultimately put that dream on permanent hold because partying took precedent over what was the most important career path that we know today.

Ren says “I am grateful for the opportunity to travel.” Ren says, “Observe and learn from your mistakes. Don’t keep making mistakes especially as an adult and blame everyone else for those mistakes. Instead watch everyone around you make those mistakes and don’t make the same mistakes they have made.”

Professional view

After the interview with Renauld Hill I felt compelled to obtain a better understanding from someone who could add a professional view of a man who seems very simple, captures beauty through a lens and yet troubled. I spoke with Linda J. Williams MA, LPC, CACIL, and RPT of Mental Health Services for Children and Adults.

“Renauld came from a family that was dysfunctional.” ”He had a childhood that made him feel like he was alone even though there were other siblings in the home and a mother and father.” Linda says “It seems like a lot of abuse, neglect and trauma.” Trauma still stays in the nervous system way past the event and in life if not diagnosed and treated.ie. his mother holding the gun to his head. Linda says “Trauma can be easily triggered by certain images and situations that bring forth negative emotions and violence.”

 Linda says “What comes to mind and with him being a middle child, it is unusual that he was not closer to one or two of his brothers and sisters. Their potentially could have been some form of physical sibling abuse that made him feel estranged from his siblings. Older siblings will sometimes force the younger sibling to do what she calls “work”.”

Younger siblings stray away from this act.”  Linda explained “Many children in abusive situations where the parents have opted out often lead a child to attachment disorders. Children who have not securely attached to a caregiver tend to be destructive and detached because they do not feel they belong or can fit in anywhere.”

Linda says “Ren has a need to travel and seek out people which can be a classic sign for someone who is looking for people to give him approval that he is a good person. I confirmed through my interview with Ren that he does mention that Geechie said she could tell that he was a good person. Linda goes on to say that a person such as this is difficult to treat as a patient.

” Linda says Ren has an attachment disorder that he has undoubtedly carried into adulthood. If he would have been married he would have likely been divorced because of the inability to hold onto a relationship. People with attachment disorders will need other people around them, or someone who have a lot of patience and time on their hands.

“Ren does not view empathy like we view empathy.” For example I was saddened when my grandmother took ill even worried that she might die. Ren said “Why are you sad you should be happy for her, she does not have to suffer no more.”

 “The term that he used when his mother died was simply, “Life goes on.” Linda says he does exhibit signs of depression because as a loaner they often can feel alone as Ren sometimes does. Ren is a classic survivor who connects with friends more so than family.

Linda says “His self worth only matters in the eyes of other people and the world tends to be a not so safe place and potentially not worth living if he does not have a positive outlet to turn to.”  The fact that he uses photography as a tool to heal from the inside out tells us that he will be ok. Ren presents a gift that he is giving to people and the world and he has learned to survive through photography. He feels good when doing photography because he is able to meet people and learn what makes them happy while gaining his own fulfillment.

“Where do we go from here?” Ren is a success story that otherwise may have turned out to be a sad statistic. Ren did not complete college. Ren was not the best child growing up and as he says he was a delinquent. Ren has defied all odds such as not having out of wedlock children, becoming a drug addict or worse.

Ren has taken survival skills and applied them to everyday life. He takes photographs as a form of healing. He has become a responsible and respectable man who is looking for acceptance and love and one day he will find just that.